A nickname that basically started as a joke within the local community, it seems the parody of ‘Padiham Beach’ has really spiralled online over the last couple of years, racking up droves of fake 5-star Google reviews and even fooling some folks into thinking it’s a legitimate sight to come visit!
So what is Padiham Beach REALLY like? Let’s set the record straight.
The truth about ‘Padiham Beach’
Having been awarded the title of ‘worst reviewed beach’ in the county, Padiham Beach in Lancashire is essentially just a small stretch of pebbled and sandy grit deposit dumped beside the River Calder, running under a busy bridge slap bang in the middle of Padiham town centre.
Not exactly a beach, and not exactly a breath-taking setting I’m sure you’ll agree…
In truth, the title ‘Padiham Beach’ has always been more of a spoofy nickname used by those living in the area rather than an accurate definition.
In fairness, I’m sure brief visits here can be fairly enjoyable, such as folks passing by with their kids to feed the ducks on a sunny day for a few moments or what have you.
Just be sure to watch out for the littered beer cans and smashed bottles left by the chavvy yobs who often frequent here during evenings and weekends.
Padiham Beach’s glowing online reviews
Despite its unfavourable reputation, a brief Google search of Padiham Beach surprisingly reveals it’s actually received 80+ online reviews with an overall rating of 4.3/5 stars.
Now most of these ratings are clearly mockeries – sarcastic reviews written by jokesters who know all too well about the unremarkable reality of the local ‘beach’.
Reading through the vast number of satirical comments while writing this blog post, I’ll admit a good few of them did make me chuckle.
Some highlights include:
“Fine golden sand within easy reach of beachside amenities, fish and chip, bars and tesco, the ideal spot to basque in the sun with a picnic or 3 litres of white lighting.” – Andrew Standen
“Eat your heart out Torquay. Just pull up a deckchair with some cans of stella and let the nature immerse you. Lovely place, would reccommend. 10/10” – Andrew Pickering
“Great day out apart from someone’s little cherub lobbing a loaf of 12p bread from tescos at my head from the bridge! Will definitely return” – Sam H
Nevertheless, some folks clearly aren’t happy with the masses of 5-star ratings the beach has been getting…
My guess is that they’ve perhaps made the visit themselves and been sorely disappointed.
Unfortunate but also tragically hilarious.
A few examples below:
“This IS NOT A BEACH. Don’t come here with a bucket and spade. The nearby park is lovely, but not near a beach either!!!!” – Richard Parish
“Are you actually suggesting there is a beach in Padiham, I sincerely hope folk won’t come flocking they will be sorely disappointed.” – Elaine Bates
How to get to Padiham Beach
Now, if after reading this post you still want to check out Padiham Beach, then more power to you!
Residing in the heart of Padiham town centre in Lancashire, you won’t have any problems finding it. Simply look for the bridge beside the roundabout on the main road in front of Tesco.
Padiham Beach Address: Lune St, Padiham, Burnley BB12 8DG
On the other hand, if you’d actually like to check out some great walking spots in the local area, be sure to trawl through our ‘Best Walks In Burnley’, ‘Best Walks In Lancashire’ and ‘Gawthorpe Hall Circular Walk’ blog posts.
Enjoy!
